Er, What Do I Do Now?

After having a big fat anxiety attack this morning over WHO WAS GOING TO OVERSEE MY PREGNANCY CARE???? (all in caps because that's how that question felt in my mind) I had a long talk with one of the midwives at the practice I've always gone to for my regular, well woman care - and she talked me down off the bridge.

I was so worried because my blood clotting disorders and being on Lovenox blood thinner injections make me a higher risk patient ... so I didn't know if felt comfortable going the midwife route ... but my RE discharged me yesterday after seeing a heartbeat (yay!) and I just felt ... lost. And scared for my baby.

So after googling all sorts of crap and e-mailing people and looking for recommendations and going crazy ... I talked to Nancy ... who was so kind and we talked about my fears. She told me I am in a category of care that they would consider higher risk but that they could work with me in conjunction with the high risk MFM's (maternal fetal medicine specialists aka perinatologists) they refer out to. She had already talked to the head MFM about me (I had left a message with her yesterday) and they had gone over my case. He wants to see me between 16 - 18 weeks - and the midwives will monitor me in the meantime. Nancy is ordering bloodwork/platelet count once/week for the next three weeks to see how I'm doing on the Lovenox - they are also upping my dose slightly (per MFM recommendation) and now I'll do injections twice/day rather than once a day. (30 mg/twice a day rather than 40mg/once a day. Two injections a day! Crap. Oh well. I'd walk on hot coals if it will help to ensure a healthy pregnancy and safe baby.) Nancy also ordered all my pregnancy b/w (testing for diseases, all standard stuff) so I'll have that done tomorrow too.

And she will set me up for an NT scan at 12 weeks - that will be done at the hospital ultrasound center (I'm assuming.) The midwife group I've always gone to see are all CNM's (certified nurse midwives) and while they do operate an independent birth center they also work closely with a local major hospital. And the MFM's are supposed to be very good (and nice) too.

So I feel better. Still terrified - but I feel like someone is going to look after me and help me and my baby be safe.

I'll give birth at the hospital rather than the midwife center and it may turn out that the MFM's totally take over my care if that becomes necessary at some point but we're going to see how it goes. Otherwise - I'll probably have a midwife attend the hospital birth with MFM checking in to make sure we're OK.

Deep breaths. This WILL be OK. Inhaling ... exhaling ...