BFN at 13dpo. It appears our third and final IUI is on the horizon. And it has to work. Because we can't afford IVF.
In our denial that we'd ever need IVF - we are in the midst of two expensive, much needed renovation projects at our home. So I guess I'm giving birth to a kitchen instead of a baby - for now. But having taken on the expense of these renovations - IVF seems really unattainable right now. But where there's a will (or a low interest credit card) - there's a way - I suppose.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Way ahead. Because our next IUI is going to work. It's going to cost us $2500 out of pocket - ouch - but that's OK because it's going to work. We're mixing it up - we're doing back to back IUI's at 12 and 36 hours post trigger (instead of one at 36 hours post trigger) - we're trying for more, bigger follies before trigger - and it's going to work.
Because it has to.
Stupid fake twinges. :-( Whatever.
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12 comments:
Sorry about the negative, they just suck.
But fingers crossed for this next IUI!
I'm sorry as well. I have those counterfeit twinges as well. Negatives TOTALLY, TOTALLY suck!
I feel like you in that I'm trying to determine how to budget these costs. You probably have had this stuff done, but I was wondering if you had the antral follicle count and/or the clomid challenge test? I believe both are supposed to give a sense for the potential effectiveness of IUI with ovulation stimulation drugs. I had thought FSH on day 3 was pretty indicative, but apparently these other tests add to the reliabilty.
Lynn
Lynn - I never had clomid challenge - I suppose my RE did not have any reason to order that test based on results of other tests I had (and I've had A LOT!!) to think I might not respond to stims. I do respond like a champ - and my highest FSH so far has been around a 6 - lowest just over 4. I believe they do an antral follicle count on CD 3 whenever you're gearing up for another stims cycle - everything looks textbook perfect, basically.
And yet .. I'm not pregnant. Go figure.
Hopefully things will turn around soon.
Well, I really, really think it's going to happen for you soon! You check out perfectly!
I have a friend that was traveling every morning from north of NYC to NJ for monitoring, etc. (after not getting pregnant for over a year -unexplained fertility) and got pregnant on a break! Then quickly got pregnant the 2nd time she conceived. Things sometimes happen in strange ways.
I think you mentioned you do acupuncture. Can I ask when and how often during your cycle? I was looking into doing it, but I noticed something on the acupunturist's site that said "let us know if you are on blood thinners." I can't imagine you would bleed too much from such small needles. Did you have to speak to the acupuncturist about this?
Thanks!
Lynn
Hi Lynn! I go to acupuncture about once a week - sometimes a little less than that. I may have to cut back even more though - all of this is getting expensive. :-(
I don't bleed at all from the needles .. every once in a while I'll have a dot of blood but that's it. I'm sure that's info they want just as a precaution. I'm on such a low dose though - even though I take both baby aspirin and lovenox - the b.a. is a super low does and the lovenox is low too. And I'm only on lovenox post-ovulation. So far, it hasn't been a problem.
And I hope you're right about it happening for me soon. That would be wonderful. I'm tired of waiting - and getting more and more fearful that it ISN'T going to happen. :-( I hope I'm wrong -and you're right.
It will ;)!
By the way, I start Lovenox in a couple weeks. Thanks for your earlier posts. I definitely feel more comfortable knowing what I'm getting into. They are innocently sitting in my closet for now.
Lynn
One out of Six and Lynn,
Monday is supposed to be my Hysteroscope at the outpatient surgery center near my RE's office. But just like always my body has a mind of its own and this morning I woke up with cramps. I have had very little spotting but I just feel like it is coming. This is bad, the RE said he will do the test if it is just spotting but if it gets heavier he won't. This is a problem! My miscarriage was just on Feb. 1 it is too early for my period, obviously my body disagrees. I wish my body could just hold off until Monday. My insurance company will only pay for the Follistim if my surgery shows I have no growths in my uterus. I was supposed to use the Follistim this coming cycle. Also if it is scar tissue from my first miscarriage causing these last three poor implantation miscarriages then I won't know and most likely we will have another miscarriage this month if we try. My husband and I booked a hotel room near the surgery center since my surgery is early Monday and it is a two hour drive to get there. The hotel room is non-refundable. So if I don't have this preocedure Monday everything will be screwed up and it will be a month of trying on our own and having a miscarriage or not being able to try at all. I don't know how to stop this bleeding except to take birth control pills tonight, Sat., and Sun. What is your advice? I know the pill could mess with my hormones but the alternative of not being able to get this test done seems far worse right now. Please write me with your advice!
Melisha
Melisha-
I'm sorry to hear about your situation! What stress!
I can see why you are torn. When during your cycle are you supposed to have the hysteroscopy performed? If the procedure is to confirm there are no growths in the uterus (and get you the follistim), is there a risk of taking the pill and going in with a lining that's too thick which will prevent them from getting an accurate read? If the answer is no, then I'd probably take the pill and go in on Monday. If the answer is yes or maybe, I'd call the hotel and explain you were staying there for a surgery and it's been moved. Maybe they will give you a credit (or partial credit) for a stay at a different time? You should at least ask.
I'm not sure how much help I am, but I'm hoping for the best for you.
Lynn
Melisha - I am so sorry - I have not checked my blog for a week. Did you have the hysteroscopy?? I hope you're OK! Let me know.
One out of Six and Lynn,
I was able to have the scope and uterine biopsy on Monday. I took three BC pills on Friday and then felt so terrible about messing with my cycle that I couldn't take anymore. I spotted over the weekend but the pills did stop my cycle from starting. My RE found scar tissue during the scope. He said there wasn't a massive amount but there was enough scar tissue to prevent a placenta from forming. This could explain miscarriage 2,3, and 4. But what about my first miscarriage? He can't be for sure! So on day three of my next menstural cycle I will start the follistim in hopes that at least one embryo will implant and develop correctly. I feel pretty hopeful with our plan! I guess there isn't any harm in being hopeful? How are you guys doing?
Melisha
I am in the midst of a crazy IUI cycle .. I'll blog about it later. Basically - I have one giant follie ready to pop but we're trying for four so are now trying to shut this with down with an ovulation suppressor drug .. but I don't know if we got to it in time. If I were to ovulate before trigger time - it would screw everything up and they've been monitoring me so frequently - it's just turning into a very expensive cycle. If it goes down the toilet I will be crushed.
But .. I think we did shut down the big follie in time. More later .. I have literally been too frantic to even blog about it. I will this weekend.
You hang in there honey!!!
I have been a lurker on your blog for a while. You and I have been going through very similar cycles. Sorry for the BFN, and sorry for the false twinges. I hate it when our bodies think it is funny to play tricks on us. I too am approaching my last IUI. Here's to both of us going out with a bang!
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