Twinges

My uterus is twingy. And I’ve been at this long enough to know that might mean a whole pile of nothing. But it’s twingy nonetheless. I’m 7dpo – and it’s been twingy since 3dpo. I’ve even had few piercing little pains – nothing awful – just enough to almost make you say “ow” out loud.

You would think – after all this time – I wouldn’t still analyzing 2WW symptoms. ESPECIALLY during a “natural” cycle. But I can’t help it. I guess I still can’t understand why I’m not pregnant yet – so I still think that I CAN get pregnant – even on my own. Because no one has presented with a concrete reason that says “you can’t get pregnant because X, Y, Z – so move on!”

The first RE I saw basically said it was very unlikely based on my history. And that was well over a year ago. She was a cold fish. I bet at this point she’d tell me it’s more likely I might wake up on the moon some morning than get knocked up on my own. But I didn’t like her. Or her dire outlook regarding my situation. So screw her. (And for what it’s worth – at the time I saw her – my husband and I had JUST started having sex again after literally an almost 9 month dry spell. We were having some problems … and on top of that an unexpected and very traumatic death in the family caused a major tear in the fabric of our relationship – I wasn’t sure we were going to make it. But we did. Er, obviously.) My point being – at that time – I didn’t feel it was as dismal a picture as she was painting it to be. However .. in retrospect .. maybe it was. Hmph.

REGARDLESS .... I feel twingy. And that’s that. Oh – and I’m charting this month. Which couldn’t be more bass-ackwards – most people have left charting in the dust by the time they get to where I am in this process. Me – I just started. But only because my acupuncturist wanted me to. I think she just wanted to take a gander at my temps to see if my body was indeed doing what it is supposed to be doing. And based on my temps – it appears that it is. I was very resistant to the idea at first – my sleep schedule is weird – I don’t wake up at the same time everyday (and didn’t feel like having to in order to temp.) But now, I’m kinda into it. It’s interesting to see my temps do. And to track everything. I’m using fertility friend – I wasn’t at first – was just doing everything by hand on a paper chart but then logged onto fertility friend last week and thought “what the hell?” it’s free for a basic membership (although I might pay for a VIP once my free trial VIP membership runs out .. we’ll see. Told you I was strangely into it.)

Of course – I know I’ve had pretty darn accurate timing for the last, oh, year and a half. I bought a clearblue easy fertility monitor in September 2006 – have been using it ever since – and it’s quite accurate as far as predicting your most fertile days. So why I think charting all of a sudden might shed some new light on my predicament .. well, I don’t really. But maybe I kind of do. It’s something new to be fascinated with I guess, at least for now.

And … it sort of looks like maybe I had a really early implantation “dip” at 5dpo. Now see – a month ago I didn’t even know what an implantation dip WAS! I do now!

And – I’m twingy.

How amazingly, ridiculously great would it be if I ended up pregnant this cycle? I could skip what is going to be an EXPENSIVE IUI #3 – and just be pregnant – and be happy forever and ever. HA! ;-) If only life were that simple.

And for my fellow Lovenox’ers – I started back up this past Tuesday night – so 2dpo according to “my chart.” Once again - so far, so good. Only some very small bruises - about the size of a fingertip - at the injection site - and only a couple of those. The rest of the injections have left only a reddish-purplish dot at the injection site. Some stinging/burning as I inject the meds - but I go so slowly I don't really even feel it - if it starts to burn - I slow down even more and just proceed very cautiously and carefully.

One more week to go before I know anything.

Come on twinges. MEAN something this month!