Sunday, September 7, 2008

Panic Attack

So I ended up at the hospital this past Friday. Last weekend, the baby seemed very normally active, lots of nice kicks and rolls. But by Tuesday of last week - his activity seemed to be dwindling. It didn't stop but it just seemed - less. Same thing on Wednesday. Thursday morning he was VERY active - but then the rest of the day, not so much. And Friday - hardly anything. After drinking a lemonade juice box and then downing a full can of Sprite in an afternoon meeting on Friday - and getting almost NO response - I started sweating and panicking. I called The Midwife Center and had the midwife on call paged. She called me back - we talked it over - and agreed to meet at the hospital so that I could undergo what is called an NST or Non Stress Test (ha! Ironic given how STRESSED I was by that point.) During an NST - they put two monitors on your belly. One tracks baby's heartbeat - the other monitors uterine activity, i.e. contractions.

It only took 5 seconds for tech to locate baby's heartbeat but it seemed like an ETERNITY. For a second - when we didn't heart his heart right away - mine stopped. But then she found it - and I knew he was ALIVE. Now we just had to ascertain whether or not he was also OK.

They monitored me for a little over half an hour - and his heartrate was very good - fluctuating between the 140's and 150's. Very normal. And he kicked at the monitor a few times too. After that - they even did a quick ultrasound to check fluid levels - that also looked good. I didn't get a great look at the u/s - the person doing it was a resident but not an u/s tech per se - and it just wasn't a great peek. But that's OK - I have another peek scheduled for tomorrow morning! Tomorrow's is a growth scan - to make sure the baby is measuring on target for 29 weeks. This is because my blood clotting disorders put the baby at risk for IUGR - intra-uterine growth restriction. This would be brought on by placenta not doing its job properly. Hopefully - tomorrow's u/s will show a nice, healthy, 29 weeker. We'll see.

I felt so grateful on Friday that my midwife treated me so compassionately and respectfully. Not once did she make me feel like a crazy pregnant lady. She 100 percent validated my feelings - and we are going to come up with a plan to deal with my increasing anxiety level - more heartbeat checks at the midwife center - and some additional NST's to be scheduled throughout the rest of my pregnancy. I think this will help me a lot. I did not know that my anxiety would take off like this. But truly - it's not just me being crazy. He IS moving less - I'm not sure why. Who knows? It may be that he's moved into a position where the kicks and punches just feel less powerful to me or aren't as readily detectable. I'll definitely be asking tomorrow morning about his positioning and how that might be affecting my ability to feel movement! You can bet on that! Or it may be that he's just in a less active mode for now.

I'll know more tomorrow. He has moved around for me today - nothing crazy and of course I wish it was more - but I HAVE felt him - and that has to be enough for now. Hopefully - tomorrow's u/s will go great and I'll feel a lot better.

I really love being pregnant - and I don't want to be an anxious mess for the remaining 11 or so weeks that I am pregnant. I may never be pregnant again (which makes me sad - but it's a very real possibility.) So as much as I can't WAIT to meet my baby - I also don't want to wish this time away. It's the only time that this little baby will be inside my belly. So I hope that the additional visits to the midwife center and NST's can help me relax a little. And - I'll get back into prenatal yoga when I can (foot is still in the boot for now.)

One more quick update - J and I went to our first breastfeeding class last Tuesday - and our first childbirth class last Wednesday. Really fun. I am in awe of the fact that these classes even apply to me. I still can't believe I'm pregnant.

More news after tomorrow's ultrasound ... hope all are well. :-)

Update: Pic of me at 28 weeks!

medium belly


Jill said...

Good luck at your u/s tomorrow! I'm so glad that everything looked ok on Friday. I, too, deal with the anxiety of something possibly being wrong. After all we've been through, I think it is impossible not to. But I agree -- pregnancy is too short to spend it worried all the time! I hope that the more frequent hb checks and NSTs can help ease your mind a bit.

Melisha said...

I am also feeling paranoid, I am not sure if I ever haven't felt paranooid. At first I was scared that I would miscarry now I am scared of preterm labor. My OBGYN has been wonderful! He always tells us he knows how hard we worked to get to this point and understands my anxiety. To help me out I see him once every two weeks and I have an ultrasound once every three to four weeks. He always tells me this is just a general plan and this could change if I feel like it needs to. I wish his nurses were a little more compassionate though, I always feel like I am bothering them when I call the office. I am not sure if I told you that I am having a little boy and girl! I was 23 weeks yesterday. I also still cannot believe I am pregnant! Good luck with your US. One of the books I read says that you will feel the most movements between 24 and 28 weeks and then they will start to dwindle because they have less room in your uterus to move around. So my bet is he is getting big and is healthy! Talk to you soon....Melisha

admin said...

Ugh! I know how stressfl that can be, and you did the right thing. Trust your instincts - ALWAYS. Waiting to hear thta little heartbeat come on the monitor always seems like an eternity. Dreadful, really.

I am just so glad that things are well and that you have been able to so fully enjoy being pregnant. 11 weeks will go by fast. Congrats on making it so far, so well.