First Post

Well, I guess I am now officially entering the ranks of women struggling with infertility and blogging about it. As of this past week - our diagnosis is no longer just "infertility" - but is now infertility with recurrent pregnancy loss to boot. This week - I will get something like 19 tubes of blood drawn as part of the RPL (recurrent pregnancy loss) panel my RE has ordered for me. J needs to get blood drawn too so they can check out his chromosomes as well. Then, later this month, I'll have a sono-hysterogram - a test that involves filling up my uterus with saline - and then taking pictures of it. They want to make sure nothing got "left behind" during my surgery to remove a uterine septum last March. (I assume they're talking about a piece of the septum - and not like, a pair of surgical scissors or a few cotton balls. Cripes!)

So - now we can't even TTC on our own this month. Because the S-HSG has to take place toward the end of my cycle - and they want to make sure you're not pregnant when they do the test. Ha! As if. What an absolute bummer.

For a while, getting all these tests was sort of interesting. Dramatic. Now - it's just tiresome. I'm tired of being tested. I'm tired of wondering what's wrong. Part of me (the crazy, in denial part of me, I guess) still thinks this is all a big mistake - a bizarre coincidence - and in fact, nothing is wrong and I'll get pregnant (and stay pregnant) on my own very soon.

How ironic that I can't wait to start sticking myself with needles again. But having gotten pregnant with injectables/IUI on the first try - even though it ended in a chemical pregnancy - well, it worked, sort of - and I feel like it will work again. But first - more tests ... more waiting ... and then hopefully - some answers, and some resolution. And then maybe ... a baby.